Tuesday, July 3, 2018

I Couldn't Have Said It Any Better

Please read the article I have linked below, then read my additional comments.


Wow! This is extremely powerful. I couldn't have said it any better. As a life long Christian myself, the one thing I would like to add, is this. If as a Christian, you truly believe that homosexuality in all its forms is a sin that damns all homosexuals to hell then you also need to remember that the Bible says the wages of ALL SIN is death. That means God doesn't pick one sin out that is worse than any other. Everyone has sinned and fallen short of God, and deserves death and separation from Him. Hitting your younger sibling gets you a one way ticket to hell, just as if you had murdered them. Alcoholism and gambling addictions are sins too, according to the Bible, however, most Christians would say, "but those are diseases." 


My point here is, Man, not God, has chosen to make homosexuality an unforgivable sin. I have researched deeply into the subject and believe there are several factors in the act of the translation of the Bible and societal views at the time these translations were made that have shaped modern Christian's views on homosexuality that are simply not true. 


Martin Luther found the same issues true when it came to the translations regarding indulgences. Even the Catholic Church has changed their teaching on them. Luther's findings are now widely accepted by all Christians. Could it be that the same thing has happened when it comes to the translation of the Bible in terms of homosexuality?


Finally, I would ask the same as the author of this wonderful post. Truly listen with a totally open mind and the intent of seeing our side, without immediately shutting down our opinions because you don't want to find out you may not be right. 


I believe the Bible is Living Word, and if you pray for God's discernment on any matter you might actually learn what He really thinks, instead of what you have always been told He thinks. I have done this already and I know that God loves and accepts me just the way I am.

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Coming Out At Your New Job, Is It Safe?

As many of you know, I came out to my family on February 13thof this year and turned 52 in March. Not everyone was totally accepting but it could have been far worse. With time the family members who are having difficulty accepting it will mellow. They still love and accept me as a person and I don’t expect them ever to agree with my life style choices, but it will be nice when they are able to control their distaste for it and no longer show disgust openly and make hurtful remarks.

When I came out to my family I chose to stay closeted at work for many reasons. I have been employed by my current company for 17 years and have been with the same work group for 11 of those 17 years. Of the 35+ people in my current work group there are at least 6 LGBTQ employees, not including me. Some are open about being LGBTQ and others aren’t. As one would expect with today’s corporate climate of anti harassment, there aren’t any real issues.

However, I still chose to keep my sexuality to myself. I don’t want to have to continuously explain myself and my bisexuality to people who more than likely will be genuinely interested and anything hurtful they might say would be unintentional and born out of true ignorance. 

The second issue is my job is very visible to the entire company because I am the point of contact for any issues with my department so most of the 800 plus people at my company know who I am, or have at least heard about me. This means once it is known that I am bisexual the news will spread like wild fire, which will amplify the first issue exponentially. 

Its not that I am uncomfortable with myself or my bisexuality. Its actually quite the opposite. I want to educate people about bisexuality in an effort to eliminate bi-erasure and biphobia because I feel it is very important I do so. My only concern is that because of the visibility of my position in the company I fear I will be inundated with interest and questions. If, like me, you read everything you could get your hands on when you realized you were bisexual, you will have read time and time again that many people are just tired of having to “come out” to everyone they meet on a daily basis, and it can get tiring having to do so.

I had said, if I ever got another job I would start by being “Out” from day one. I really do want to be proactive when it comes to Bi-visibility and I figure it will be easier to do so in smaller doses. This seemed like a great idea at the time, however, things may be changing quickly in my life and it has caused my anxiety to rear it’s ugly head again.

I have been looking for another job for a few years now without much luck for many reasons out of my control. Last week, however, I interviewed for the job of my dreams and was told they will be calling me this week to schedule as second interview with senior management. At this point things are looking very good. While I have yet to be extended an offer, it is likely one will be forthcoming. So that means its time to put my money where my mouth is regarding being out at work, and I would be lying if I said I was anything but scared.

The job would be with a brand new company, in a totally different industry than I currently work. I didn’t find this job through networking so I know no one that could give me the 411 on how the company views LGBTQ workers. Furthermore, from everything I have read previously, being out as gay or lesbian at work is met with far more acceptance than being out as bisexual. The horror stories I have read say that being out as a bisexual at work could mean that your upward mobility is often slowed, if not stopped all together. I have also read articles of employees being openly harassed for their sexuality and management allowing it, just like the stories you heard back in the 70s and 80s about being openly gay and lesbian at work and being fired for it.

I have been under employed for almost 20 years now. This new job will be a God send, if I am able to get it. The salary is exponentially larger than my current salary, and I will actually be able to retire some day. I will also be able to provide for my disabled adult child after I am gone. Both of these things were not possible in my current job. So you can see why I am a bit apprehensive about doing anything to jeopardize my situation.

I have determined my best course of action will be to proceed with caution, holding off on being the “Biggest and Best Bisexual Activist” I can be until I am certain it is safe for me to do so.  In the end, when deciding if coming out is something you should do, it is always best to do a risk assessment with safety being your utmost concern. Safety can mean different things for different people. There are also many factors one should take into consideration; do the people you plan to come out to have control over your basic needs, such as food and housing? Will coming out put you at risk for emotional or physical harm? Will your current relationship change drastically or possibly end if you come out? Or as in my case, will being out at work have financial repercussions for me and my loved ones? 

A very wise gay friend of mine told me to make extremely certain I was ready to come out, “because once you say it, you can’t ever take it back.” It was his way of telling me to weigh my options and make certain I fully understood the very real risk involved before I actually pulled the trigger and said the words, “I am Bisexual.”

Because of this I did as he suggested. By the time I was ready to come out to my Pastor, I knew there was a very real possibility I may be asked to leave the church home I loved dearly. I also realized if they didn’t want me as a bisexual then it was no longer the church I needed to be a member of. It would hurt but I was ready if it did indeed happen. By the time I was ready to tell my family, and more importantly my parents, that I was bisexual, I knew they may no longer accept and love me for who I really was and that I was ready to remove myself from their lives if need be. That would have been truly heartbreaking but I was ready to do it.

With all that said, I am not ready to risk the financial well being of myself and my family until I am certain there will be absolutely no negative repercussions. While it will be sad not be to able to fight bi-visibility and bi-phobia on a larger scale, it will certainly be the safest thing for me to do.