I’ve recently read articles in several British newspapers that Manchester University and now Oxford University have banned clapping as a form of applause because it “could be” triggering to students with anxiety, in favor of BSL (British Sign Language) applause of Jazz hands. The first time I read it I thought, “REALLY! Clapping as a form of applause has been used for centuries. How on earth did people with anxiety ever survive before now?”
Don’t get me wrong, there is both a time and a place where warnings are acceptable and needed. For example, graphic or violent content warnings are important to parents with young children or for any adult that does not wish to subject themselves to such things. That being said, just exactly when is enough, enough?
Every time someone shouts they are being triggered by something that causes them dicomfort I think about the story of the little boy who witnessed a butterfly trying to free itself from a cocoon. The boy felt sorry for the butterfly so he reached down and tore the cocoon apart freeing the butterfly. Much to his dismay the butterfly died in front of him. What the boy had not realized was that in the process of struggling to free itself, is what strengthened its cardiovascular system and the muscles required to flap its wings. Because the boy wanted to remove what he perceived to be a great difficulty from the butterfly he weakened it so much he caused it’s death.
Most experienced parents will tell you the worst thing you can do for your children is to remove all obstacles from their lives. The truth of the matter is that life isn’t easy. Just as the butterfly needs to struggle to free itself, our children need to experience some of life’s hardships early on in life so when they become young adults they wont wither and die at the first obstacle they experience.
Most experienced parents will tell you the worst thing you can do for your children is to remove all obstacles from their lives. The truth of the matter is that life isn’t easy. Just as the butterfly needs to struggle to free itself, our children need to experience some of life’s hardships early on in life so when they become young adults they wont wither and die at the first obstacle they experience.
As I have written before, my father was the principle at the school I attended, I was verbally and physically abused, to the point of being bruised, on a daily basis. More often than not, I came home in tears. My father possessed the power to stop the abuse, but instead he and my mother chose to help me deal with it on my own. They explained to me why I was singled out, and helped me to understand I wasn’t a bad person at all. In all reality it was the bullies who had issues and they picked on me to feel better about themselves. At the time it was a hard pill to swallow but in the long run it strengthened my resolve and made me the adult I am today.
Had my father stepped in and removed all of that pain from my life I wouldn’t have been prepared for life as an adult. Many years later I was a supervisor. I had an employee who was verbally abusing me in front of other employees and clients. If that wasn’t enough, not only did my manager allow her to treat me this way, he laughed about it and joined in which not only encouraged other employees to join in but gave them permission to do so.
I was ready for this because I had learned how to cope as a child and young adult. When I asked my boss step in to stop the abuse he did nothing, and it actually got worse. I could have quit or had a nervous breakdown, but my parents had allowed me to break free of my cocoon on my own so I was ready for this fight. Once I realized my boss wasn’t going to deal with this issue, I began to document each incident with dates, times, and a full accounting of what had transpired. I knew if I went to HR with one incident nothing would happen, but if I had enough documentation my boss and the employees who were verbally abusing me wouldn’t be able to talk their way out of multiple incidences, and I was right. I documented things for nearly three weeks, and emailed twelve pages of documentation to HR. While I wouldn’t wish my childhood on anyone I wouldn’t do it over again for anything. My experiences are what make me the strong human being I am today.
Had my father stepped in and removed all of that pain from my life I wouldn’t have been prepared for life as an adult. Many years later I was a supervisor. I had an employee who was verbally abusing me in front of other employees and clients. If that wasn’t enough, not only did my manager allow her to treat me this way, he laughed about it and joined in which not only encouraged other employees to join in but gave them permission to do so.
I was ready for this because I had learned how to cope as a child and young adult. When I asked my boss step in to stop the abuse he did nothing, and it actually got worse. I could have quit or had a nervous breakdown, but my parents had allowed me to break free of my cocoon on my own so I was ready for this fight. Once I realized my boss wasn’t going to deal with this issue, I began to document each incident with dates, times, and a full accounting of what had transpired. I knew if I went to HR with one incident nothing would happen, but if I had enough documentation my boss and the employees who were verbally abusing me wouldn’t be able to talk their way out of multiple incidences, and I was right. I documented things for nearly three weeks, and emailed twelve pages of documentation to HR. While I wouldn’t wish my childhood on anyone I wouldn’t do it over again for anything. My experiences are what make me the strong human being I am today.
There are many other stories I could share about growing up with undiagnosed ADD, Depression, and Anxiety. I could also tell you about the time things got so bad I contemplated suicide. While I was most definitely triggered at the time, I never called it that, and I most certainly never expected anyone else to remove the hurdles making my life more difficult. I chose to strengthen my resolve and jump those hurdles myself.
Now let’s get back to Manchester University and Oxford wanting to help their anxiety ridden student body. Don’t you think their energy would be better spent by offering mental health services to students who are so anxiety filled they can’t handle being in a room full of clapping people? Helping those student deal with their anxiety will better serve them over their lifetime.
Both my son and I experience anxiety to differing degrees. One of the excellent workbooks our counselor gave us to help with anxiety prescribed exercises that help us work through our anxiety rather than removing the thing that caused it in the first place. Doesn’t that make more sense anyway. Training yourself how to slay your own dragons, rather than expecting someone else to keep you out of harms way in the first place?
There is a flip side to all of this. Let’s look at the benefits of applause itself. All of my life I have performed in one way or another. I am a thespian, I was also in band and choir and have carried on doing those things as an adult as well. The first play I was in when I was in 5th grade was performed for grades K through 8. It was very scary to get up in front of gym full of students at such a young age. The only thing that kept me going back was remembering the applause from the previous performance. As a performer I can tell you applause it like a drug. Replacing it with Jazz hands does a huge disservice to the performers, and we crave it. If you take that huge incentive of applause out of elementary and high school, and colleges and universities, how then do you ever expect to attend the Symphony, or a Broadway play? Applause it what performer use to overcome our performance anxiety.
As an adult I performed Messiah in my metro’s Performing Arts Center several years in a row. There are simply no words to describe the feeling I got when the packed house erupted with applause. I don’t know about anyone else but you could have scraped me off the ceiling. I’m sorry but jazz hands aren’t going to cut it with me.
Life has and always and will always suck, there is no getting around it. The best life skill you can have is learning to deal with difficult times on your own. I am not saying society shouldn’t be cognoscente of bullying, harassment, terroristic and phobic behavior, far from it. I believe those things are worthy and deserving of attention and effort to remove from society. That being said, there is a line which we as a society should mark and not cross. If you are so triggered by applause that it puts you in such an anxiety ridden state, the likelihood you would attend an event where the possibility of such outbursts are common, is slim indeed. Why should the performers be punished because the university worried you might attend and may be triggered? In the end, it is no different than me saying, “I shouldn’t have to read articles about students who are so triggered they can’t attend class and are requesting comfort dogs to help them deal with the fact the presidential candidate they supported didn’t win, or being triggered or offended by being called a snowflake.” I can only imagine the names I would be called if I chose to say such things.
There is a flip side to all of this. Let’s look at the benefits of applause itself. All of my life I have performed in one way or another. I am a thespian, I was also in band and choir and have carried on doing those things as an adult as well. The first play I was in when I was in 5th grade was performed for grades K through 8. It was very scary to get up in front of gym full of students at such a young age. The only thing that kept me going back was remembering the applause from the previous performance. As a performer I can tell you applause it like a drug. Replacing it with Jazz hands does a huge disservice to the performers, and we crave it. If you take that huge incentive of applause out of elementary and high school, and colleges and universities, how then do you ever expect to attend the Symphony, or a Broadway play? Applause it what performer use to overcome our performance anxiety.
As an adult I performed Messiah in my metro’s Performing Arts Center several years in a row. There are simply no words to describe the feeling I got when the packed house erupted with applause. I don’t know about anyone else but you could have scraped me off the ceiling. I’m sorry but jazz hands aren’t going to cut it with me.
Life has and always and will always suck, there is no getting around it. The best life skill you can have is learning to deal with difficult times on your own. I am not saying society shouldn’t be cognoscente of bullying, harassment, terroristic and phobic behavior, far from it. I believe those things are worthy and deserving of attention and effort to remove from society. That being said, there is a line which we as a society should mark and not cross. If you are so triggered by applause that it puts you in such an anxiety ridden state, the likelihood you would attend an event where the possibility of such outbursts are common, is slim indeed. Why should the performers be punished because the university worried you might attend and may be triggered? In the end, it is no different than me saying, “I shouldn’t have to read articles about students who are so triggered they can’t attend class and are requesting comfort dogs to help them deal with the fact the presidential candidate they supported didn’t win, or being triggered or offended by being called a snowflake.” I can only imagine the names I would be called if I chose to say such things.
In closing, the best way to meet your anxiety is head on with the help of a therapist. So remember the old quote, “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.” Don’t expect everyone in society to to walk on eggshells so you don’t have to deal with life like everyone else.
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