Saturday, October 27, 2018

Johnson & Johnson HIV Vaccine Clinical Trials

Please click on the links below to learn more about Johnson & Johnson's Clinical Trials for their new HIV Vaccine.


Johnson & Johnson Website

Monday, September 17, 2018

A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing - When Inclusion Is Anything But Inclusive

As some of you may remember, I spoke of my excitement, in an earlier post about partnering with my local LGBTQ+ community center to form a Bi-Pan+ Group.

Several months ago I met with the center’s interim director, who happens to be a MTF trans women, who also identifies as Pansexual. We had a great conversation about all of the possibilities surrounding the new group, and that I had hoped one day would turn into several other services for the Bi Pan+ community.

As with any not-for-profit group, nothing can happen until the governing board meets and approves of anything new happening there. I knew the process was likely to be slow, so I didn’t think anything was wrong when I hadn’t heard any news for a while.

In the mean time my life got a little crazy with starting back to work after a seven month medical leave and interviews, because I am trying to find a new job.  However, the new group was never far from the front of my mind.

One of the suggestions the director had made in our first meeting, was that the group should have a speaker at each meeting to discuss current Bi/Pan+ issues. I told her I would need the center’s help because I was newly out and didn’t have a network in the Bi community that would help me find these speakers. Additionally, I had suggested that I start a social Bi Pan+ Group on Meet Up dot com, that would meet outside of the community center. When I suggested that, the director said, “No, we would like you to still have it here at the center.”

After three months I decided the time had come to follow up with the center’s director, since I had yet to hear back from her. It took her a few days to respond to my email, and when she did, she said that she had been unable to get any buy in from the board for the new group. I thought to myself, “You are the center’s director, and part of the Bi-Pan+ community. You share the pain of being erased, and are in a position to create change in our local LGBTQ+ community, so what the hell?!!!”  (I held my tongue because I have experience with trying to make changes by group vote. In the end, there is only so much that can be done if the group doesn’t want the changes set before them.)

She did suggest we try and do something on September 23rd for Bi Visibility Day, so I figured all was not yet lost. In my reply I said, given that we have less than a month, and zero budget, we could host an Open House at the center. We could serve punch and cookies and hand out fliers with information regarding Bi/Pan+ specific web sites etc, and have people sign up for the new Bi-Pan+ group’s first meeting whose date and time were yet to be determined.

These last emails were sent almost two weeks ago now, and I have yet to hear any more from the director. The ironic thing about this whole issue is part of the community center’s name includes the words, “Center for Inclusion.”

As I said, I don’t totally blame the director because she can’t just totally override the board and say, “We are doing this, and that’s that!” However, I wonder how hard she tried to get this to happen.

I can’t say I am shocked this happened. After all, I have read many articles and blog posts over the last year and a half explaining Bi-phobia and Bi-erasure in the LGBTQ+ community. It just seems a little odd that a group with the word “Inclusion” in it's name would be so unapologetically Bi-phobic. Especially, when the director identifies as a transgendered pansexual.

In the end, I plan to practice what I have preached from day one of this blog, which is, “You don’t have a right to complain about Bi-phobia and erasure, if you aren’t doing anything to counteract these things.” That means, I plan to use Meet Up dot com to start my own social Bi-Pan+ Group. My only regret is the group won’t get started before September 23rd this year. Be that as it may, there will be many Bi Visibility days in the years to come, and we have to start some time.

Be The Change You Want To See In Your Community!

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

I Couldn't Have Said It Any Better

Please read the article I have linked below, then read my additional comments.

Wow! This is extremely powerful. I couldn't have said it any better. As a life long Christian myself, the one thing I would like to add, is this. If as a Christian, you truly believe that homosexuality in all its forms is a sin that damns all homosexuals to hell then you also need to remember that the Bible says the wages of ALL SIN is death. That means God doesn't pick one sin out that is worse than any other. Everyone has sinned and fallen short of God, and deserves death and separation from Him. Hitting your younger sibling gets you a one way ticket to hell, just as if you had murdered them. Alcoholism and gambling addictions are sins too, according to the Bible, however, most Christians would say, "but those are diseases." 

My point here is, Man, not God, has chosen to make homosexuality an unforgivable sin. I have researched deeply into the subject and believe there are several factors in the act of the translation of the Bible and societal views at the time these translations were made that have shaped modern Christian's views on homosexuality that are simply not true. 

Martin Luther found the same issues true when it came to the translations regarding indulgences. Even the Catholic Church has changed their teaching on them. Luther's findings are now widely accepted by all Christians. Could it be that the same thing has happened when it comes to the translation of the Bible in terms of homosexuality?

Finally, I would ask the same as the author of this wonderful post. Truly listen with a totally open mind and the intent of seeing our side, without immediately shutting down our opinions because you don't want to find out you may not be right. 

I believe the Bible is Living Word, and if you pray for God's discernment on any matter you might actually learn what He really thinks, instead of what you have always been told He thinks. I have done this already and I know that God loves and accepts me just the way I am.

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Coming Out At Your New Job, Is It Safe?

As many of you know, I came out to my family on February 13thof this year and turned 52 in March. Not everyone was totally accepting but it could have been far worse. With time the family members who are having difficulty accepting it will mellow. They still love and accept me as a person and I don’t expect them ever to agree with my life style choices, but it will be nice when they are able to control their distaste for it and no longer show disgust openly and make hurtful remarks.

When I came out to my family I chose to stay closeted at work for many reasons. I have been employed by my current company for 17 years and have been with the same work group for 11 of those 17 years. Of the 35+ people in my current work group there are at least 6 LGBTQ employees, not including me. Some are open about being LGBTQ and others aren’t. As one would expect with today’s corporate climate of anti harassment, there aren’t any real issues.

However, I still chose to keep my sexuality to myself. I don’t want to have to continuously explain myself and my bisexuality to people who more than likely will be genuinely interested and anything hurtful they might say would be unintentional and born out of true ignorance. 

The second issue is my job is very visible to the entire company because I am the point of contact for any issues with my department so most of the 800 plus people at my company know who I am, or have at least heard about me. This means once it is known that I am bisexual the news will spread like wild fire, which will amplify the first issue exponentially. 

Its not that I am uncomfortable with myself or my bisexuality. Its actually quite the opposite. I want to educate people about bisexuality in an effort to eliminate bi-erasure and biphobia because I feel it is very important I do so. My only concern is that because of the visibility of my position in the company I fear I will be inundated with interest and questions. If, like me, you read everything you could get your hands on when you realized you were bisexual, you will have read time and time again that many people are just tired of having to “come out” to everyone they meet on a daily basis, and it can get tiring having to do so.

I had said, if I ever got another job I would start by being “Out” from day one. I really do want to be proactive when it comes to Bi-visibility and I figure it will be easier to do so in smaller doses. This seemed like a great idea at the time, however, things may be changing quickly in my life and it has caused my anxiety to rear it’s ugly head again.

I have been looking for another job for a few years now without much luck for many reasons out of my control. Last week, however, I interviewed for the job of my dreams and was told they will be calling me this week to schedule as second interview with senior management. At this point things are looking very good. While I have yet to be extended an offer, it is likely one will be forthcoming. So that means its time to put my money where my mouth is regarding being out at work, and I would be lying if I said I was anything but scared.

The job would be with a brand new company, in a totally different industry than I currently work. I didn’t find this job through networking so I know no one that could give me the 411 on how the company views LGBTQ workers. Furthermore, from everything I have read previously, being out as gay or lesbian at work is met with far more acceptance than being out as bisexual. The horror stories I have read say that being out as a bisexual at work could mean that your upward mobility is often slowed, if not stopped all together. I have also read articles of employees being openly harassed for their sexuality and management allowing it, just like the stories you heard back in the 70s and 80s about being openly gay and lesbian at work and being fired for it.

I have been under employed for almost 20 years now. This new job will be a God send, if I am able to get it. The salary is exponentially larger than my current salary, and I will actually be able to retire some day. I will also be able to provide for my disabled adult child after I am gone. Both of these things were not possible in my current job. So you can see why I am a bit apprehensive about doing anything to jeopardize my situation.

I have determined my best course of action will be to proceed with caution, holding off on being the “Biggest and Best Bisexual Activist” I can be until I am certain it is safe for me to do so.  In the end, when deciding if coming out is something you should do, it is always best to do a risk assessment with safety being your utmost concern. Safety can mean different things for different people. There are also many factors one should take into consideration; do the people you plan to come out to have control over your basic needs, such as food and housing? Will coming out put you at risk for emotional or physical harm? Will your current relationship change drastically or possibly end if you come out? Or as in my case, will being out at work have financial repercussions for me and my loved ones? 

A very wise gay friend of mine told me to make extremely certain I was ready to come out, “because once you say it, you can’t ever take it back.” It was his way of telling me to weigh my options and make certain I fully understood the very real risk involved before I actually pulled the trigger and said the words, “I am Bisexual.”

Because of this I did as he suggested. By the time I was ready to come out to my Pastor, I knew there was a very real possibility I may be asked to leave the church home I loved dearly. I also realized if they didn’t want me as a bisexual then it was no longer the church I needed to be a member of. It would hurt but I was ready if it did indeed happen. By the time I was ready to tell my family, and more importantly my parents, that I was bisexual, I knew they may no longer accept and love me for who I really was and that I was ready to remove myself from their lives if need be. That would have been truly heartbreaking but I was ready to do it.

With all that said, I am not ready to risk the financial well being of myself and my family until I am certain there will be absolutely no negative repercussions. While it will be sad not be to able to fight bi-visibility and bi-phobia on a larger scale, it will certainly be the safest thing for me to do. 

Sunday, June 24, 2018

Did Attending My First Pride Out Me At Work

When I came out to my family in February of this year, it was my intent to stay closeted at work, so to speak. The main reason was because I have worked at my current location for over ten years and I have a very high profile job. Many people know who I am, even if I have yet to meet them, they call me by name. Truthfully, I didn’t want to deal with the flood of questions that would most certainly come, in addition to dealing with no longer being as accepted by people that had once liked me. I realize I wasn’t practicing what I preached on my blog, and take full responsibility for not being open about my bisexuality so that my openness will create visibility and acceptance for bisexuals the world over. I am, however, human.

My plan was not to purposefully go out of the way to come out at work, but if it happened organically I wasn’t going to stop it. I am also not so stupid to think that running in LGBTQ circles now that I would never accidently bump into someone from work. I work for a large company with many very out and proud people, in addition to people who don’t shout it from the roof tops, but they aren’t hiding it either.

As Pride rolled around this year I began to get excited. I wanted to go very badly, but I didn’t want to go alone. Many of my gay friends who would have willing allowed me to go with them weren’t able to attend this year. I had a few offers from people of the Bear group I belong to but they were all from men/couples I haven’t met before and that would be awkward at best.

Then surprisingly my son comes to me and says, his friend, who is trans, had invited him to go to Pride and could he go. It was his friend’s first Pride also and they didn’t want to go alone either. I said, I didn’t care and asked him to tell them about me and that it was also my first Pride, and would it be ok if I went along. I would even drive. Everyone was agreeable so we hopped into my SUV on Sunday afternoon and went.

To be honest, after all of the things I have read and been hearing, I thought I would be met with a Pride that was very gay centric with no Bi visibility or representation at all. I was very wrong and pleasantly surprised! Every booth had bisexual gear of many different varieties for sale. Flags, T-shirts, hats, pins, and more.

Even more to my surprise, I also saw attendees wearing bisexual flags, shirts, hats and pins too! I couldn’t believe it. It was so different from what I had been lead to believe would happen.  The one thing that didn’t catch me by surprise was that I saw no men wearing anything that would label themselves as being bisexual, and that made me sad. I would have, but I was newly out and didn’t have anything like that yet.

Then it happened, not fifteen minutes after I arrived, I saw a gay man I work with. He was sitting behind a table that looked like it was supposed to be there for a group who had come to market themselves, but there wasn’t any sign and no pamphlets to be handed out. When our eyes met his got wide as a pie plate. In order to take control of the situation, I said, “Hey, how are you? This is my son and his friend.” He must have still been in shock from seeing me there that he didn’t say anything in response.

I wanted very badly to know what he was thinking and if my plans to stay closeted at work were now a memory. I then told myself I knew this was likely going to happen and it may happen again before I left. Plus I must have subconsciously decided to come in hopes that I would no longer have to hide at work.

I had been on medial leave for several months before this and had been released for work two weeks after Pride. The whole time I was walking around, I wondered who long it would take for the news that I had been seen at Pride to circulate around the company. After all, I was presumed by everyone I worked with to be straight and this would be big news. There wasn’t a thing I could do to stop it now so I had better work at accepting that I was no longer straight at work. I even started to have a dream that everyone was standing around me when I walked into work that first day, and they all wanted to know if I was gay.

Well, the actual day came that I was to go back to work. The second person I saw when I walked in the door was the same gay man who I had seen at Pride. Oddly, he got this weird look on his face that was a combination of fear and uncertainty, like he knew this terrible secret about me and it caused him actual pain because he knew it. I acted like nothing was wrong, because indeed nothing was. It truly didn’t matter to me any more. I suppose it was mean of me not to qualify why I was at Pride and what my sexual identity was when I bumped into him.  To be honest, it isn’t any of his business. It was then that I knew there was a great likelihood he had told no one he saw me there.

I chose not to say any more to him about it because I don’t need to justify myself or my family members to anyone. (By the way, my son is straight.) Doing so, might also make it look like I have something to hide, which I do not. If he, or anyone else asks me why I went to Pride I will say that I took my son and his friend, and will answer any follow up questions truthfully. However, I don’t plan to offer any extra information either. Which means I can use bi-invisibility and the fact that I have always been straight passing to my benefit. I might get asked if I am gay, but I would be shocked if anyone asked me if I am bisexual. 

It has been a whole week since my first day back and no one has said a word to me. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t just a bit relieved about it. When it came to my family not knowing it felt like I was living a lie. Now that they know, I no longer feel like I am being held down by the weight of this huge secret. I have always been someone who shares a great deal of my life with the people I work with, but that doesn’t mean I tell everyone I meet everything about me.

I am currently looking for a new job and have decided when I get one I am going to be open about who I am from day one. I have no plans on introducing myself by saying, “My name is Tim. Nice to meet you, and by the way, I am a bisexual male.”  I will, however, toss bits and pieces into conversations that will hint at the fact  I like men as well as women.

In the end, I still may have been outed at work, and no one has had the courage to ask me about it yet. If they do, its totally fine with me. The only thing left for me to do is to remember not to act like a “Bulldozer Bisexual,” and bite their head off when they ask me about it. I am still the face of bisexuality them and in an effort to represent our community in a positive light I need to be on my best behavior.

By the way, the coolest thing I saw during my first Pride celebration was when I looked down. The street was covered in glitter, how cool is that?!


Sunday, June 17, 2018

Phallocentrism The Slayer Of Dragons

While visiting LGBTQ spaces on the internet this last week I learned a few new things. First of all, I had been hearing about Unicorns, more than usual, and wondered in a Facebook group what the male equivalent was given male bisexuals seem to be far rarer than both female bisexuals and unicorns. I was told, to my delight that male bisexuals are called Dragons, which are just as magical and just as rare as any unicorn you come across.

Secondly, and even more importantly, I discovered a term and it’s definition, for why male bisexuals are even more scarce than hen’s teeth. I mean, I know why but now I have a fancy $17.00 word to toss around that describes it eloquently, in stead of using several paragraphs. That word is:

Phallocentrism- a doctrine or belief centered on the phallus, especially a belief in the superiority of the male sex.

This one word, combined with many an ignorant man who possesses a less than secure image of himself, and a dash of internalize homophobia is the main contributing factor in the lack of out bisexual men, and the number of closeted bisexual men not willing to make themselves know on surveys.

The term was created in 1927, but I fear the actual belief system, which is now so aptly named, has been around since before the time of recorded history. This belief is so widely held that society and even parents begin begin grooming their male children almost from birth. All one needs for proof is to look at the gifts given to parents for their new baby boy. Sports gear, trucks, trains, tractors, war hero action figures, and matching outfits with similar male themes. You will never see dolls, tea sets, princess outfits, or play cookware sets, and most certainly nothing pink!

As male infants become toddlers they begin to hear things like, “Boys don’t cry.” “How’s Daddy’s little man?” and “Don’t hit girls.” They begin to watch cartoons where male characters are always the heroes who save female characters, or dads going to work to earn a living while women stay home to take care of the kids. When they get to school other boys will tease them by calling names like “sissy,” or “you throw like a girl.” By the time they reach Jr High and High School the names grow up too and become “Fag” and “Cocksucker.”

It is by this time in their young lives that without actually ever being told outright that men are stronger and meant to be in charge, and anything less is feminine and weak, they come to know it all for themselves intuitively. I have heard many LGBTQ males say the first time they were called fag or faggot; they didn’t know exactly what it meant but they knew it wasn’t good and called their maleness into question.

When I was in High School, in the early 80s, I had yet to realize I was bisexual, and the term Gaydar was quickly become part of the modern lexicon. I knew what gaydar was and I thought I had a very good one. What I failed to realize then was the only way someone can be certain someone else was a gay male back then was if they were unable to hide their femininity in any way. I have since learned there are far more gay men in the world who are straight passing, and unless they tell you, you would never know. I have lost count, in the last ten years, of how many times I nearly fell out of my chair when I found out someone was gay and I had had no earthly idea they were.

While I wasn’t overly feminine in High School I wasn’t exactly masculine either. I sang in Choir, I was in the drama club and acted and sang in all the school plays. Not only was I bad at sports, I hated them. Even without a limp wrist or a lisp I was still accused of being less than manly on occasion and it was never a pleasant experience.

In addition to societal conditioning, the 80s brought the HIV and AIDs scare making it even more undesirable to be part of the LGBTQ community. Which didn’t help because gay men already had a bad name. This, however, was nothing new. My parents were shown films in health class that were PSAs of a sort warning against homosexuality, and what would happen if you fell under their spell because gay men were all pedophiles.  I have seen some of these myself on YouTube and they are truly repugnant.

So it stands to reason that men about my age and older would haven been brainwashed into thinking that the very last thing on earth you want to be seen as is anything less than society’s view of what a Man’s Man should be. Given that all men have a certain level of internalized homophobia because of these factors they are going to be far less likely to come out as bisexual because it is much easier to hide your same sex attraction and camouflage yourself in a heteronormative marriage.

I was very confused growing up because of my same sex attraction. I figured I was still ok because I wasn’t gay, since I still liked girls. I subconsciously buried my same sex attractions so deeply that I was in complete denial about them until I turned 48.

Yesterday I read an article quoting a study in which bisexual men where only 19% of the LGBTQ community while bisexual women made up 78% of it. I would really like to know what the actual percentage would be if all the bisexual men would stand up to be counted. I would say these figures are fairly accurate given that I saw many bisexual women at my first Pride earlier this month and no openly bisexual men. I was there without any LGBTQ gear on so there may have been some other men there who were hiding amongst their gay male friends and/or partners, or with female partners. 

The good thing about this whole epidemic is recent CDC Studies over the last few years have shown huge increases in teens of all genders who openly identify as bisexual. I dream of the day when my grandchildren have children in a world where it won’t be any different to by bisexual than it will be to be straight, and no one will care. Until then we all still need to do our best to be the most visible unicorns and dragons we can be to help that day happen. 

Friday, June 15, 2018

I Will Not Drop The B!

****** I have recently found out that the article I read and posted below was instigated by 4Chan and alt right anti LGBTQ activism group trying to divide our community by stirring the pot with false information. I am a bit embarrassed to say that I did not fact check the information prior to writing my post, and even more red faced that I have responded in a way that they had anticipated.

I just read this article and I couldn’t be more frustrated and upset! Why must I change how I identify because it makes you uncomfortable, REALLY?!

First, lets look at the most widely accepted definition of Bisexuality given to us by Robyn Ochs:

“I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”

Note that it states, “more than one sex and/or gender.” It doesn’t say, “two sexes and/or two genders.” To be fair, this definition is not any different than for Pansexual. It’s just worded a bit differently, but means the exact same thing in its spirit.

I personally identify as bisexual because that’s the word I feel best fits me and it make me feel good about myself. Who better than me would know exactly feels right to me than me?

In the 60s, 70s, and 80s when not only organized religion but society in general, told everyone in the LGBTQ community we made everyone uncomfortable and we needed to change our ways or we would be imprisoned and damned to Hell, we fought back with a vengeance. We said, “We exist, and we aren’t going anywhere.” Furthermore, “Not only do we exist, we want to be treated no differently than anyone else, because we deserve it!” In that fight to be acknowledged, we were jailed, and some of us were even killed because of who we were. While we have come so very far from those days, we still fight battles because the war is not yet over. Why is it possible then that some of us are still experiencing the same thing, but from members of our very own community, with the hashtag DroptheB?

The people behind the Drop the B movement assert that the “B” acronym excludes people who don’t identify in the gender binary. First of all, I have already discredited this fear by including the current definition of Bisexuality from Robyn Ochs. Secondly, our community was built on the fact that we no longer care what other people think of us and we are going to live as we choose to, and everyone else can go jump in the lake for all we care. So why is this still an issue? Let me explain it a different way to help you understand.

For the sake of argument, lets say there are two dairy farmers. The first farmer is in his 60s, he has 40 dairy cows that he and his son milk by hand twice each day. He grows enough feed on his 100 acres of land to keep his cows fed. His farm equipment is far from new but he is proud of what he has and keeps everything he owns in good working order and looking nice. While he isn’t wealthy, he is able to provide for himself and his wife, and pay his son enough so he can support himself along with his wife and children.

The second farmer is in his early 30s. He now owns the farm he grew up on after his father’s untimely death. Because he has a college degree in business, he was able to quickly turn his farm’s small dairy farm into a major corporation. He uses electric milking machines to milk 1,500 head of dairy cows twice each day, he refines and bottles and distributes the fresh milk in his onsite dairy, and grows enough feed for his heard on 10,000 acres of land with the very latest in farm technology and equipment with the help of 60 employees. 

By all outward appearances you would say this young farmer had it all. But what most people don’t know is that when he was a boy growing up on the little farm, just like the one the first farmer still owns, his father beat him daily, in addition to verbally abusing him which emotionally broke his spirit. Because of this the young farmer wanted nothing to do with anything that even remotely reminded him of his father.

When he went to town for supplies he would meet up with the men he had grown up with who all owned farms like the first farmer. They would joke with him because he had gotten too big for his overalls, and was now too fancy to be part of their crowd. He knew they must be jealous of his success and felt bad because they had not been able to do the same thing with their own farms, but it still cut deeply and brought up those old feelings from when his father had abused him both physically and emotionally.

It bothered him so much so he began to believe small farms were a blight to the future of farming and he used his influence and power in the state government to try to make it more difficult for small farms to exist by making it more difficult for them to get loans and grants from the government. He even tried to buy the first farmer’s farm and couldn’t understand why the man wouldn’t sell. He tried to convince him that large dairy farms were the wave of the future and he had no business in trying to keep his small farm afloat any longer because dairy farming just wasn’t done that way any more.

The first farmer couldn’t understand why the young farmer felt the way he did. His little dairy farm certainly wasn’t a financial threat to the young farmer. The land his farm was on didn’t prevent the young farmer from milking his larger heard nor was it land that connected to the young farmer’s acreage, and buying it made no sense as far as he could see. Furthermore, why shouldn’t he be allowed to farm his farm the way he always had? He wasn’t hurting anyone and he was able to provide a good life for himself and his family. 

What the old farmer didn’t know was the young farmer felt threatened by the older farmer. When the young farmer told people he was a dairy farmer he wanted them to view him as he was, a large business owner with money and influence, not like the old farmer and the men who he had gone to school with who were also small dairy farmers. This was all because he cared too much what other people thought of him because of his previous life experiences which caused him to have deep sense of self-hatred because of his past trauma.

So all of this begs the question, whose responsibility is it to make the young farmer feel better about himself when he sees other dairy farmers who farm differently than he does? First of all, no one would blame the young farmer for feeling the way he does once they found out what caused him to have those feelings in the first place. However, if he chooses to wallow in self pity and self hatred because of his past that is his issue and no one else’s. Nor is it anyone’s responsibility but his to come to terms with his self hatred and work through it to the point where he will no longer care what other farmers think or say about him.

How many people do you think would help him if he tried to eliminate all of the small dairy farms in his state if he told everyone that small dairy farms made him feel mistreated and unsafe because all people thought, when he told them he was a dairy farmer, was of the small farm he had grown up on and not the big mega farm he owned? Not too many, I would guess.

That’s why this whole Drop the B movement is so ludicrous. Why is it my responsibility to make you feel comfortable about how you identify, because I identify differently than you? I have written before about how my life became much simpler and more stress free when I stopped caring what everyone else thought about my life choices. This whole issue stems from people’s inability to except themselves and their differences. I am not shaming them for not doing so. Many if not all of us in the LGBTQ community have had these very same feelings and dealt with them accordingly. However, it I should not have to suffer because of your self hatred.

One of my favorite quotes from Abraham Lincoln is, “You are as happy as you make your mind up to be.” If these people chose to stop having a pity party about the fact that they are LGBTQ and how poorly they have been treated over the years, and get the counseling they need to finally feel good about who they are, they will no longer be upset about what others think of them. They will finally be able to say, “F you, and the horse you road in on!” I know who I am and I don’t care what you think, say, or do, it doesn’t effect me at all. 

No matter how hard these people try to change how others think and act, the only true power they have to elicit any lasting change is within themselves.