As some of you may remember, I spoke of my excitement, in an earlier post about partnering with my local LGBTQ+ community center to form a Bi-Pan+ Group.
Several months ago I met with the center’s interim director, who happens to be a MTF trans women, who also identifies as Pansexual. We had a great conversation about all of the possibilities surrounding the new group, and that I had hoped one day would turn into several other services for the Bi Pan+ community.
As with any not-for-profit group, nothing can happen until the governing board meets and approves of anything new happening there. I knew the process was likely to be slow, so I didn’t think anything was wrong when I hadn’t heard any news for a while.
In the mean time my life got a little crazy with starting back to work after a seven month medical leave and interviews, because I am trying to find a new job. However, the new group was never far from the front of my mind.
One of the suggestions the director had made in our first meeting, was that the group should have a speaker at each meeting to discuss current Bi/Pan+ issues. I told her I would need the center’s help because I was newly out and didn’t have a network in the Bi community that would help me find these speakers. Additionally, I had suggested that I start a social Bi Pan+ Group on Meet Up dot com, that would meet outside of the community center. When I suggested that, the director said, “No, we would like you to still have it here at the center.”
After three months I decided the time had come to follow up with the center’s director, since I had yet to hear back from her. It took her a few days to respond to my email, and when she did, she said that she had been unable to get any buy in from the board for the new group. I thought to myself, “You are the center’s director, and part of the Bi-Pan+ community. You share the pain of being erased, and are in a position to create change in our local LGBTQ+ community, so what the hell?!!!” (I held my tongue because I have experience with trying to make changes by group vote. In the end, there is only so much that can be done if the group doesn’t want the changes set before them.)
She did suggest we try and do something on September 23rd for Bi Visibility Day, so I figured all was not yet lost. In my reply I said, given that we have less than a month, and zero budget, we could host an Open House at the center. We could serve punch and cookies and hand out fliers with information regarding Bi/Pan+ specific web sites etc, and have people sign up for the new Bi-Pan+ group’s first meeting whose date and time were yet to be determined.
These last emails were sent almost two weeks ago now, and I have yet to hear any more from the director. The ironic thing about this whole issue is part of the community center’s name includes the words, “Center for Inclusion.”
As I said, I don’t totally blame the director because she can’t just totally override the board and say, “We are doing this, and that’s that!” However, I wonder how hard she tried to get this to happen.
I can’t say I am shocked this happened. After all, I have read many articles and blog posts over the last year and a half explaining Bi-phobia and Bi-erasure in the LGBTQ+ community. It just seems a little odd that a group with the word “Inclusion” in it's name would be so unapologetically Bi-phobic. Especially, when the director identifies as a transgendered pansexual.
In the end, I plan to practice what I have preached from day one of this blog, which is, “You don’t have a right to complain about Bi-phobia and erasure, if you aren’t doing anything to counteract these things.” That means, I plan to use Meet Up dot com to start my own social Bi-Pan+ Group. My only regret is the group won’t get started before September 23rd this year. Be that as it may, there will be many Bi Visibility days in the years to come, and we have to start some time.
Be The Change You Want To See In Your Community!
