The "INSTEAD LIST" - Things people should say to Bisexuals, instead of being hateful or rude.

Any bisexual who has been out for a while will be able to give you a laundry list of awful things well meaning people have said to them when they told them they are bisexual. If you are newly out, I have a gift for you. It’s called my “Instead List.” This list is something you can share with your family, friends, and co-workers when they start asking questions of you. Hopefully, it will help them to understand how better to treat you.

“Are you sure?”

INSTEAD SAY:

“That must have been very difficult to tell us. We love you no matter what and you will always be our son/daughter. We have always wanted you to be happy, and if this makes you happy, we are happy.”

“You know that God says it’s a sin, right?”

INSTEAD SAY:

“Wow, this really caught me off guard. You know that I love you no matter what. I just need time to process all of this. Can we talk more about this later?”

“My spouse and I are looking for a threesome, are you interested?”

INSTEAD SAY:

Cool! You sound like an interesting person. Let’s have lunch together so we can get to know each other better. Who knows, if we’re lucky we could end up being best friends!”

“That’s not real.”

INSTEAD SAY:

“Oh, I don’t know much about that. Can you recommend some books for me to read, so I can learn more about it?”

“You’re confused, you will eventually figure out that you’re gay like I did.”

INSTEAD SAY:

“Really, do you have any hobbies? I like movies, collecting antiques, and painting.”

“How do you know? Have you even been with a man/woman yet?”

INSTEAD SAY:

“That really doesn’t make any difference to me, what else can you tell me about yourself?”

“Oh, I’m already married.”

INSTEAD SAY:

“Oh, are you dating anyone right now?”

“Can’t you just be with someone of the opposite sex, and be straight?”

INSTEAD SAY:

“Wow, this must be hard for you. Tell me how I can be your ally.”

“I could never date/marry a bisexual. They all just cheat and leave you for someone else.”

INSTEAD SAY:

“I’d like to learn more about that. Can we talk about it sometime?”

“You are just being greedy”

INSTEAD SAY:

“You know, my friend’s son just came out at gay, how is that different than bisexual?”

“You’re just doing this for attention.”

INSTEAD SAY:

“That’s awesome, so am I!” Or “That’s awesome, I’m gay!”